BABE OF THE DAY - SALMA HAYEK...

I was in my local pub the other night having a

lemonade (in a dirty glass), when SALMA HAYEK

sidles up to me and asks me for my telephone number.

"You're married, Salma (to a multi-millionaire, no less -

I wonder what she saw in him?) so it wouldn't be

right to give you my number!" says I.

"Number - now!" she says, whipping out a dirty

great gun from under her t-shirt.  Well, who am I to

argue with a lady?  Especially when she's toting such im-

pressive weaponry (in more ways than one).  So I handed

her my mobile number, and no doubt she'll be calling me

sometime soon.  I'll just let it go to voicemail 'though -

there's far too many women  in my life at the

moment, fighting for my attention.

(Nurse, is it time for my medicine yet?)

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