I'VE GOT ONE YOU'VE GOT ONE EVERYBODY'S GOT ONE...

Radio Victory

Back in early 1985, I was pursuing my freelance career

from a bedsit room in Shearer Rd. in Fratton, Portsmouth.

I usually had the radio on as I worked, and, one night, I was

listening to a deejay called GEORGE REED (I think) on the

local radio station, RADIO VICTORY.  (Whose premises

were situated just along the road from me actually.)

George announced his regular 'phone quiz and offered

up the following question for the consideration of his eager

listeners.  "I've got one, you've got one, everybody's got one -

what is it?"  Then he played some records as he waited for folk

to ring in with their answer.  Eventually someone did, and the

bold George repeated the question and then asked for the

fellow's answer.  "Is it 'penis'?" came the response.

The caller was immediately cut off and a record was

played while George composed himself.  When he returned

after the song's end, he bemoaned what had happened, saying

that in all the many years that he'd worked on radio (in America

too, he was keen to point out), he'd never once had such a rude

response to one of his questions as the one he'd just had the

misfortune to hear (and inadvertently broadcast).

He then took another call, and in a voice which, to me,

sounded suspiciously like the previous caller, the fellow said

"I'd just like to say how shocked I was to hear that last caller

say 'penis' on the radio..."  You could actually hear George's

uncertainty over how to respond.  The offending word had been

repeated, but it was in the form of a complaint, so the repetition

was perhaps legitimate - or was it?  George hesitated and was

lost, as the caller continued.  "...Personally, I thought

the answer was 'pr*ck'!"

George spluttered his indignation, while I (and no doubt

his entire audience) had a good laugh.  Truth to tell, George

sounded just a bit too far up himself, and the  laws of the uni-

verse demanded that he be brought down a peg.  He was, and

in hilarious fashion too.  His pomposity had been pricked,

justice was served, and all was right with the world.

And what was the real answer to the question?  I'll

have to disappoint you all there, because I can no longer

recall.  I doubt it was as entertaining as the one I heard

'though.  What do you suppose it might have been?

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