Tuesday, 17 January 2017

TEENAGE TALES: HOSPITAL HIJINKS...


The long-vanished hospital shop of my childhood, teenage years
and young adulthood.  Demolished sometime back in the '90s 

I've a nagging suspicion that I may've told this tale
before.  Or perhaps I intended to tell it but then forgot.
Either way, I can't find it on the blog or remember which
of those two possibilities is the right one, so I may as
well tell it now - or again - whichever is the case.

When I was a teenager, me and my pals were quite
adventurous in our, er, adventures.  We explored places
we had no right to be, convinced in the fevered depths of
our imaginations that we were U.N.C.L.E. agents or The
3 Investigators, or 007 - or any fictional characters
with whom you associate 'living on the edge'.

We explored building sites, empty offices, the local
Civic Centre - before, during and after working hours.
We investigated hotels, restaurants,  churches - even the
local hospital and surrounding out-buildings.  You name
it, any place we should never have been, we were over
it like a rash.  For we were - The Adventurers!
(Seriously, that's what we called ourselves.)

Let's just pause for a moment while I savour the
thrill of what I deludedly (but willingly) like to believe
was my exciting everyday life as a teenager, but (sadly)
know I'm probably romanticising just a little.  But we
had our moments, and one such moment was this.

Sometimes there were three of us, but on this par-
ticular evening, there were only two - my good self and
a mate who, for the purpose of this tale, we'll call Adam
Cowie.  We used to drop into the local hospital shop to
check for various American comicbooks and black and
white magazines that, somehow, weren't regularly or
readily available from other newsagents.

There used to be more trees here, but they were felled to make
way for car parking areas.  Again, none of this exists today

Having done that, we next decided to explore an
out-building partially concealed by a wooded area.  It
was one of several annexes, once used as wards, but at
the time of this tale, used mainly as storehouses for med-
ical supplies and goodness knows what else.  We gained
entrance through the door, which yielded (unbroken)
under pressure from our determined selves.

We wandered the corridor, exploring the various
rooms, and I happened to notice that all the windows
were tightly secured with string, tied around the handles
to prevent them from being opened.  My pal had just ex-
amined a bag containing a selection of steel implements
and put it down again, when we were suddenly aware
of what sounded like soft, slow footsteps, stealthily
making their way along the cooridor.

Discovery meant trouble, for who would ever
believe that we were merely indulging our over-de-
veloped sense of adventure, rather than being engaged
in criminal activity?  My mate (as usual) sh*t a brick, but
I was made of cooler stuff.  I'd noticed a pair of surgical
scissors in the bag my friend had been looking at, so I ex-
tracted them and quietly cut the string on the window's
handle, replaced the scissors, then we both made our
exit through the open frame and vanished in a
cloud of dust over the horizon.

Phew!  It had been a near miss, but once again
we had evaded capture by the combined agents of
S.M.E.R.S.H., S.P.E.C.T.R.E., T.H.R.U.S.H. and
H.Y.D.R.A., and were free to fight another day.  Well,
that's how things seemed to be in my fertile mind, but
then again, I always was a bit of a nutter.

Ah, those were the days.  

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