WORKPLACE WOES: FRIENDSHIP AND BETRAYAL...

I once knew a woman who feigned friendship with me

so that I'd help out in the little shop she ran.  If a man has a

weakness, it's to feel needed and appreciated by the so-called

'fairer sex', and many a man has been duped by such 'womanly'

wiles.  She was forever proclaiming what a lot she thought of me,

and wanting to hug and kiss me, and overwhelm me with her 'fem-

inine charms'.  It was obvious that this was only to make me more

amenable to her bidding whenever she wanted to use me in some

way, but don't get the wrong idea - the friendship was merely

platonic, as she was a bit of a tomboy with some disgust-

ing habits that turned my stomach on occasion.

While I was in the shop for six months on my own, I

was visited by a 'mystery shopper', and as a result of my at-

tentive customer relations technique and charming manly-man

manners, I won a prize.  It was £100 worth of gift vouchers and

a bottle of champaigne (or cheap equivalent), plus a certificate of

achievement to hang in the shop.  For some reason I now forget,

there was a delay in the presentation, and I'd left the shop's em-

ploy before the prizes were distributed to the winners.  How-

ever, there was an understanding between me and my col-

league that we'd split the vouchers, with her also get-

ting the bottle of champers as I don't drink.

Thing is, she told me I wasn't getting my half as I'd

left the shop before the presentation, and, in her view, the

prize was for the shop, not the person who'd won it.  This of

course was total nonsense, as it had been my sole efforts which

had secured the privilege and plunder, with me being specifically

mentioned (not named, but described) in the mystery shopper's

assessment of why both I and the shop were considered worthy

of reward and award.  It was the equivalent of telling me that

because I'd left the shop's employ before payday, I wasn't

entitled to wages I'd earned before leaving.  Not that

she did that, but, logically, it's the same thing.

So I was robbed of £50 - by a so-called 'friend', who,

once I was of no further use to her, pretty much abandoned

any pretence of friendship past the most superficial of nods in

its direction.  You all know your bold host isn't the sort of per-

son to tolerate such an injustice lying down 'though, and without

going into the specifics, I made sure her act of theft (for such it

was) did not go unpunished in some (legal) way.  She was a liar,

a thief, a cheat, and a fraud, given to devious manipulation in

pursuit of personal benefit, so she's certainly the type of

'friend' I can easily and happily do without.

Have any of you ever had such a 'friend'?  Feel free

to unburden your soul in our confessional comments sec-

tion.  Go on, spill the beans to your fellow Criv-ites.

Posted in: Cartoons