ELVIRA'S HOUSE OF MYSTERY COVER GALLERY...

Images copyright DC COMICS

CASSANDRA PETERSON is her real name, but viewers back in 1981 knew her under the name by which she hosted a TV show called ELVIRA'S MOVIE MACABRE, in which she introduced horror films.  In 1985, DC COMICS revived their HOUSE Of MYSTERY mag with Elvira's name attached to it.  It lasted for 11 issues and one Special - and I have them all, hence this latest entry in the Crivens Cover Gallery series.

Anyway, before we get to that, here's a story in which Elvira plays a small part - if such a description covers such an impressive 'chassis'.  In the mid-'80s, I used to have a big glossy Elvira poster (which I've still got rolled up somewhere) on my wall, and one night a friend and myself were recording a 'cassette-a-letter' for another friend in Japan.  I titled these tapes 'GROAN With GORDIE' and they consisted of music and audio clips, interspersed with either a solitary monologue from myself, or conversation with any mutual pal who happened to be visiting at the time.

As we conversed, our eyes drifted towards the Elvira poster, and we extolled her charms in a fairly non-gratuitous, non-lecherous way.  It was a brief digression, but imagine my surprise when my pal in Japan said in his reply tape that his feminist girlfriend objected to our 'sexist' comments about Elvira in her bathing suit.  I'd never met his girlfriend, and the tape had been produced for him, not her, so she could object all she liked, because, as far as I was concerned, she didn't have a say in the matter.  I told him so, and suggested that perhaps he might exercise a little common sense and listen to future tapes on headphones or when she wasn't around.

In the end, it didn't matter, as she eventually told him she was going on holiday with a girlfriend for a week or two and simply never came back, leaving him in Japan by himself.  Not a very nice thing to do, if you ask me, because they'd gone to Japan as a couple, so let that be a lesson to you - never go to the Orient with a feminist.  (Sounds like a catchphrase to live by if you ask me.)

Anyway, that's enough of my self-indulgent nonsense - on with the show.  Remember though, you're ogling what could be described as 'good girl art', so if your wife or girlfriend is a feminist, perhaps you'd be better waiting 'til she's not around.  You wouldn't want her suddenly going on holiday with a pal, would you?  (Or who knows - maybe you would?)

Posted in: Cartoons