SENTIENCE, SADNESS, AND SELF...

Do you ever find (in an idle moment) your eyes wandering around your room and seeing an object that's been in your family's possession from years before you were born, and wondering about its previous 'life' before your arrival into the world?  Yes, you're right, it is an odd question, but I'll tell you why I ask it.

I have this notion that, without realising it, we tend to date 'creation' from when we first become aware of it.  By that I mean, in our minds, the world didn't start until we became cognizant of our surroundings and the passage of time.  Yes, we know on an intellectual level that the world, etc., predates us, but it doesn't feel like it on a personal, emotional level. Time's stopwatch didn't begin until we developed sequential consciousness, and it doesn't end until we die.

Or at least that's how it seems.

Every year, when I put up my Christmas tree, I remember it gracing (almost) all my previous houses - in this case, five different homes.  However, the tree predates me, and was likely bought to brighten up my brother's four Christmases prior to my existence.  I have no memory of the place we lived in when I was born because we flitted when I was only one and a half years old, but my brother lived in yet another domicile before that.

That means he associates the tree (if he even thinks about it, but probably not) with two more homes than I do.  So when I look at the tree and relive earlier memories, it's difficult to imagine that the tree knew four Christmases that I have no knowledge or experience of, not yet having been born.  Before I thought about it, I'd always considered the tree's first Christmas to be the first one I recalled, and it somehow feels strange to me to consider that it wasn't.

It's not just the tree though;  there are several items in my house from my earliest years whose existence I tend to regard as starting with mine, but, again, they predate me.  I can't help but wonder (because I'm bonkers) what stories they could tell if they were sentient and had the power of speech.  Imagine the sideboard, or brass plates on the wall, saying "Yes, we remember when you were a baby and also recall your first Christmas.  Actually, we preferred that house more than the subsequent ones."

They could tell you things pertaining to yourself that are beyond your ability to recollect, tell you about places and people (neighbours, etc.,) that you were too young to be aware of - even of things that happened before you were born, from their perspective.

Every Christmas, when I look at my old tree and think back to the first Christmas I remember, I can't help but wonder if (were it able) the tree is remembering the first Christmas it knew.  Odd though it is, the realisation that our memories wouldn't coincide somehow saddens me.

Have you ever wondered?

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(Excuse me, but there are two guys in white coats at my door who want me to accompany them.  I may be some time.)    

Posted in: Cartoons