SCHOOLTIME SCANDALS PART THIRTEEN: PUSHED IN A PUDDLE...

The scene of the 'crime':  The foot of the slope, several feet along from
the stairs.  The puddle was at the edge of the grass in the foreground

Me and Euan Sheperd weren't exactly what

you'd call pals.  However, between classmates, there

existed a kind of unwritten rule that it was acceptable,

in the absence of one's usual friends, to pass the time in

the company of whichever fellow pupil was available

when required.  A sort of 'surrogate' pal in effect.

Such was the case on this particular day.  School

had finished and Euan and I found ourselves in each

other's company as we exited from the school gates.  He

made his way to his house, a mere two minutes (if) away

from my own, to dump his schoolbag, but was met with

an objection from his mother at going back out again. 

He pleaded, begged, cried, and implored until his

mother relented.  "15 minutes - no more!"

So we made our way to the swingpark which lay

next to a field between our two houses.  On the way,

we ran into his older sister, who enquired where he was

going and why he wasn't already back home.  She took his

hand and started to lead him back towards his house.  Un-

surprisingly, Euan burst into tears and screamed that he

had permission to be out, but she was having none of it.  I

timidly piped up at the back "His mum said he could

stay out for 15 minutes", whereupon she turned

and looked at me as if I were a bad smell.

Then she simply shoved me hard in the chest.  I

fell backwards and landed in a large muddy puddle.

As I lay there, spreadeagled and stunned into silence in

my surprise, Euan looked at me, ceased his crying, and

burst into the irritating girlish giggle for which he was so

renowned and ridiculed in equal measure.  Then he sim-

ply turned his back and accompanied his sister home.

Treacherous b*st*rd!  This was my reward for

my intercession on his behalf.

I would've thought, at the very least, in shame

at his sister's behaviour, he'd have assisted me to my

feet and apologised for her shocking act, but no, Euan

found it highly amusing.  I was left on my own to extri-

cate myself (with much squelching) from the sodden,

muddy puddle and make my way home, there to

explain my dufflecoat's soiled condition.

Needless to say, I took nothing to do with the

wee pr*ck after that.  Even amongst 'fill-in' friends,

a certain degree of loyalty was expected, and Euan

had been found lacking and fallen at the first hurdle.

To this day, he perhaps looks back and wonders

why he wasn't particularly popular at school.

   If so, guess what?  I could tell him!  

Posted in: Cartoons