SCHOOLTIME SCANDALS: RHYMES OF THE TIMES...

I had a little poodle dog,

a poodle dog was he.

He lifted up his poodle leg

and 'poodled' up a a tree.

I remember a lad called Adam Cowie telling

me the above rhyme many, many years ago.  It

started me searching my memory for other child-

hood verses that used to do the rounds in the

playground.  Here's a few I remember.

Good King Wenceslas looked out

on the feast of Stephen,

Turned his trousers inside-out

because his bum was freezin'.

Beans, beans are good for the heart,

the more you eat, the more you fart.

The more you fart, the better you feel,

beans, beans for every meal.

Mine eyes have seen the glory

of the burning of the school,

we have tortured every teacher,

we have broken every rule.

We have killed the headmaster

and flung him on the floor,*

but we go marching on.

Glory, glory, halelujah,

teacher hit me with a ruler,

the ruler went all red

and the teacher she fell dead

and we've never seen the old goat since.

(* The 6th line may not be quite right,

and one or two lines may be missing.)

The fart is a volcanic eruption,

that comes from the island of Bum.

It passes through the trouser canyon

and comes out as a musical hum.

My mammie said Ah wuz to go

for ma daddy's dinner-o.

Beef an' tatties, mince an' steak,

an' a wee bit currant cake.

Went to the river, couldnae get across,

paid ten bob for an old scabby horse.

Jumped on its back, its bones came a-crack,

had to wait 'til the boat came back.

The boat came back, we a' jumped in,

the boat capsized and we a' fell in,

Singing "Don't be weary, try and be cheery,

don't be weary for we're a' goin' home."

There are different variations of course

(especially of 'Mine eyes have seen the glory'),

but the above verses are how they were said or

sung in my neck of the woods.  Can you think

of any I may have forgotten?

******

There's another one, but I can only recall
the last two lines...

The King of Spain did the same,
but only in his pants.

Posted in: Cartoons